Here’s one of my replies, outlined his problems, with my easy solutions…
I always skip breakfast.

Make sure you always have skim milk on hand, and grab yourself a low carb protein powder (really doesn’t matter which brand, just anything with minimal carbs, ie under 10 grams). In the morning, as soon as you wake up, before anything else throw half a banana, a glass of milk, and a scoop of protein in a blender and down it with any vitamins you take. then go about your normal business. it’ll take you all of 5 minutes, tops.

My portions way too large (especially at dinner).

Get yourself a water bottle. Don’t just buy any one either, find one that you actually like the look of, it’ll make you be proud to carry it around, trust me, this shit actually does matter haha. try and drink water all day long, never go without at least a gulp every hour. And when you feel like snacking on something, take a few big chugs. Lots of times we feel hungry but it’s actually thirst.

I’m not eating enough fruits.

Fruits are basically just sugar. Stay away from them. Only eat fruit in the am, and try to keep it to 2 pieces a day MAX. The half a banana in your morning shake is plenty, trust me. If you need an energy booster later on, or want a snack before lunch, eat an apple.

I eat way too many carbs, and barely any protein.

Get protein in EVERY meal, even snacks. If you’re eating a plate of veggies and beef, eat all the beef first, every ounce. Then down a glass of water, let it all settle, and then move to the rest of it. Meat is what we’ve lived on for 10,000 years, it should always be the main attraction of any meal.

I overeat (obviously).
All the other stuff I already said should take care of this. If you’re downing water all day you’ll be less hungry, so you’re less likely to gorge when you get to dinner. And by making sure you eat shit loads of protein, you’ll also stay full longer.

Lastly, it’s good to hear you’re doing weights. However lets get you doing it a bit different. Ideally aim to do cardio 2 times a week and weights 3.

When you do weights, don’t think of a full body workout as doing each body part separately and accumulating into a full body workout. Work your body as a whole unit. Pick exercises that make you feel worked/sore in more than one place at a time. Put a few isolation exercises together (grab some dumbbells and hold them at your sides, do 5 squats, then 10 lunges, then 10 curls, then 15 presses, rest 30 seconds then repeat). Your workouts will be shorter, but more effective.

Then for your cardio days, make sure you’re still doing intervals. Choose either a rower or a treadmill (or a skipping rope if you can skip, and actually, if you can’t skip, get a rope and start practicing, it’s amazing for you. use it as your warm up. just skip for 5-10 minutes, resting as needed before you start your weights). Then warm up for 5 minutes nice and easy, then go back and forth from high intensity to low. High intensity would be like running/sprinting, low would be a jog. Choose to go for a certain distance or time, and choose how many intervals you want to do before you start (no less than 5, ideally 10 working intervals). Do 100m sprints then 100m jog to rest, and repeat 10 times. Or 30 second sprint with 30 sec jog, etc.

100 m Row sprint, 200 m, 300 m, 400 m, and 500 m. In between each rowing sprint I would hit the bag for speed, the length of time it took be to do the previous row.

After that we did repeats of the pro agility mixed with 4 fast combinations on the heavy bag. Did 10 repeats, going on each 30 second mark. Fun wow, ha.

Glad to be back at it, did better than I thought! Can`t wait to see what this crazy asshole has in store next!

Today I first did Alchemy’s WOD from Monday:

10 Thrusters @ 95lbs

20 Double Unders

4 rounds

Did that in 4:17. Sucked the damn juice right outa my quads, fuck!

Next up I threw on my gloves and did some intervals on the bag, 30 seconds on, 30 off.

1. in, 1-2, out
2. in, 1-2, out
3. jab + right hook
4. right straight + left hook
5. 1-2 1-2 1-2, etc

Rested a few minutes, then did today’s WOD:

10 Hanging Knees to Elbows

10 Sprawls

20 Sit Ups

4 rounds

Abs are fucken ruined! hahaha. Took me around 7:30 with a break early on to tie the dog up further from the entrance haha.

Feels good to be back at the met con work. Tomorrow I start back at my full on MMA conditioning work, going to be twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

And I think that after another 2 weeks of WS4SB I’m gonna go back to the 531 routine, warming up with gymnastics and agility work, and ending with a short fast met con. Fucken eh!

Today set off a 6 week contest here at Alchemy Crossfit. On sunday we held a nutritional seminar, covering 3 different dietary concepts: Zone, Paleo, and Whole foods.  Choosing one, our members will follow it, keeping a nutritional log, and based on body fat percentage and a series of performance tests, we will determine the winner, and they will get a prize! The prize, for interests sake, is cold hard cash! Fucken A!

I am the coach leading the Paleo pack! You can find my journal on the Alchemy forums.

Anyways, so far today I’ve downed some delish, uber healthy Quinoa, a ridiculous concoction of blended greens, some nuts and some fruit. And already my crap has turned a beautiful shade of green! I’ve also already noticed that I’m excavating excess water outa me like a water balloon with a leak!  Clearly the lack of dietary sodium makes a big (and fast) difference.

As for this gay fluish thing going on, it’s been bugging me since Friday morning. I’ve been waking up in a sweat, stuffed nose, and with a throat full of some nasty yellow phlegm garnished with a bit of blood. Sexy I know. Yesterday I was feeling a bit better, but today I woke up feeling like a raw anus again.

I chose to bail out of training in Toronto today, last day I’ll take off, don’t really want to be leaking nasty shit outa my face all over everybody else haha. Sleep in a bit after my 6am crossfit class, and felt lazy, so I went to the gym to bust some shit out on my own.

Agility ladder work, followed up by 100 double unders.

Then I busted out my trusty homemade Bulgarian strength training bag, to which I haven’t really used much, but after today, definitely will be making great use of it!

10 Round the world’s (each direction)

10 High pulls

10 Tricep extension (overhead)

10 Swings

5 rounds for time.

My time was embarrassing enough I wish not to share it haha. 17:30, fucken horrible. God damn bag CRUSHED me! That fucker’s a beast! It honestly does feel like wrestling with somebody. Going to do wonders for my functional strength.

And now that I’m all nice and cooled off from writing this blog, I’m going to finish up with some head movement shite, so I don’t get punched in the face so damn much! hahaha

-The Mutant Out!

Today starts my journey to hit 210 before I start cutting for my fight. Right now I’m sitting at 194 with abs, so I’d like to get to 210 and still not be fat. I’ll continue doing my Crossfit Football WODs, plus I’ll now be doing a Westside for Skinny Bastards routine with a buddy, as well as all my fight training.

I’ll be fighting for WRECK MMA cannot god damn son of a bitch mother fucken wait!

For more info, and to get your fucken tickets, contact me!

So we had some decent plans for new years. We aren’t that big on new years, so had nothing crazy to do. Becca’s mom found an ad for a 1 night stay at some Inn in Niagara Falls, including a dinner and breakfast, figured it was worth a shot, sounded nice.

On the way there we were laughing about Motels for some reason, talking about how dirty they were and what not. Fucken Karma. As we pulled into our destination we passed a “Motel Office” sign that was held together with duct tape…

Entering the office, we were greeted by a friendly, but morbidly obese woman, lovely lady. Got our keys, attached to a large piece of plastic, reminiscent of something you’d get from a gas station upon asking for a bathroom key haha.

Pulled in front of room number 30. Got to see our weekend neighbors – a bearded man with crutches and pee stained track pants, and I think it was a woman that was with him, but I could’ve been wrong.

Open the door, nice to see 2 double beds, cause who wants to sleep together on new years, gross. But at least we have a nice coffee maker, $12.99 Zellers special, securely super glued to the microwave.

Bagged from the ridiculously long drive, bout an hour, we took a nap on the soft as hardwood bed. But no! We woke up 20 minutes late for our reservation for dinner! Will they even have room on new years? Damn it. We quickly got changed (cause we sleep naked… that’s right, picture it baby ;P) and headed out. A short jont across the parking lot to “Mick and Angelo’s Italian Eatery”. Kinda like a non-franchise version of East Side Mario’s.

My starter ceasar was wicked, just the way I like it – absurd amounts of dressing. However I had to eat it with a spoon, due to my lack of cutlery haha.

For the main course I got some kind of seafood pasta dish, cause I know how mussels and scallops are currently in season in the area… Beck got some massive pasta thing, came with lasagna, chicken parmigiana, and pasta.

Back to our suite. Watched some basic cable, think we watched a few episodes of “Destroyed in Seconds”, quite riveting if you ask me. Then it was out to the car, for a couple Colt’s, beautifully packed with some killer buds. Coated them in honey, a little trick I picked up, and damn they were good.

Can’t remember what happened for the next few hours, I got a highlight reel of it in my head, most of which however would increase the rating of this blog to a ridiculous level, so I’ll let that stuff out.

Wake up from a partial nap at 12:01 – HAPPY NEW YEARS! hahaha

Jamaican hot box time. Brought back some nice memories of cutting weight in hotel room showers. Ah shit that’s fun, can’t wait to do it again!

Side note: I’m fighting in Quebec in April, first fight at 170lbs! Gonna fuck some shit up! Anybody within driving distance better mother fucken come! And buy your tickets from me (simon.marini@gmail.com) cause I get a cut of it, and I like money! haha

So after that again it becomes a haze really. Bits and pieces. Some really fucked up movie was in the background, and I recall being nude again. hmmmm, ah well, it’ll come back at some point, and when it does, I’m sure the pain I felt in my anus will be explained. hahahahaha, ah shit that’s funny. Actually laughed a little as I wrote that. Yes, I am actually this retarded, thank you for asking

Morning came quick, woke up bright and early at 10am. Got all cleaned up for breakfast, this time we got to go to some place with the word “Manor” in it’s name, must be good eh?!

It was your typical pancake house style breakfast joint. I got a mean-sick Bison burger, came just as the patty, with a side of 2 eggs and potatoes, fucken awesome! And kinda still paleo! WOOOO! So far, 1 day into 2010 and I haven’t cheated yet! FUCKEN A!

Well, that’s actually pretty much the end of the story. Kinda anti-climatic, but what do I care, I’m just writing it, you’re the loser reading it. Jeez.

5 Clean Pulls @ 90% of Power Clean 1 RM
10 Strict Pull Ups
15 Weighted GHD Back Ext 25 lbs (1 count pause at top)
250 Meter Row

Man, seriously, Crossfit Football blows donkey ass. Used 185lbs for the clean pulls, and had to substitute the Back Ext for Stiff Legged Deads (using the clean pull weight). Sucked, sucked hard, sucked long. 16:30, fucken horrendous lol. Fucken wicked though!

I kept promising myself on “Monday” I would set myself straight, clean up the diet, and make things right again. And Monday kept turning into Tuesday, Wednesday…and I wasn’t doing anything to get back to the healthy happy me I once was.

As the opening of CrossFit Quantum fast approached, I started to realize I couldn’t keep delaying. As a trainer, I wanted to ensure I was able to give people the same incredible life-altering experience CrossFit has brought into my life.  I don’t want to just be a trainer; I want to be an incredible trainer.  For me, a big part of that is “walking the talk.”  No one wants to go to a dentist with cavity-ridden teeth, or the obese doctor who smells of smoke, or the hairdresser with a bad perm!  I don’t want to represent Quantum with less than my all, modeling poor nutrition habits and sloth-like performance. I want to be a model of all the good CrossFit brings into one’s life, inside and outside the box.

Enter Simon Marini.

Through the wonderful worldwide web, I “met” Simon.  He put out a call for female guinea pigs to “get shredded!’  Well of course, I couldn’t ignore that!  I mean, health and wellness aside, the vain in me will always want to be the gal looking fit and tight in her Lululemons!

I am not an advocate of Fad Diets.  As a former chubby gal, I know the havoc this can induce.  Lose five pounds, only to gain ten.  Since going Paleo, I have been able to maintain a weight I am pretty happy with, and more importantly feel really good everyday.  Since my slip into the cookie-laden, travel packed, sleep-deprived workaholic lifestyle these past months, I needed a kick-start.  A gentle but impactful hoof to the butt.

This is NOT a lifestyle plan, and I respected Simon’s program for being so clear about this.  It s meant for short duration, extreme results.  It’s for the weigh in, the upcoming school reunion, the bridesmaid dress you HAVE to wear in a week!  Or in my case, the kick-start you need to get back on track, to stop the excuses, and start being the role model you want to be.

So I committed to 2 weeks of training with Simon, OUCH, and then the 6-Day Program. And I was blown away by the results! I lost 9 lbs, and 1 inch around the waist. I have never had such a rockin’ mid-section in all my life…even when I felt I was at my fittest.

More importantly than the loss on the scale and the before and afters, is what I GAINED on this program, and how it will keep me focused on staying healthy going forward.

Months of food abuse and just general mistreatment of my body had me in an unhappy way.  Declining progress at the gym, low mood, high stressing, and just all round icky!  The more I packed myself full of poor food choices, the tighter my pants got, the more miserable I got, the more cookies seemed like a good solace….and the cycle just got uglier!

I was tired of falling off the Paleo wagon…getting run over by the damn wagon…being dragged by the blasted wagon.  I wanted on the wagon, safely seat belted in, and to enjoy the ride…minus bumps and falls.

Simon’s 6-Day Program was my ticket to the Paleo wagon!

I regained the trust and cooperation of both my body and mind.  I relearned that food is fuel for the body and not an emotional escape for my mind.  I regained an appreciation for good nutritious foods.  I rediscovered cravings for delish brightly coloured fruits and vegetables.  I also became obsessed with crunchy things…but I am not sure that is meant to happen!?

This was exactly the “magic pill” I needed!  Except it wasn’t magic at all.  It was all inside of me, and completely self-driven.  I just needed the right map, and that was Simon’s program.

I don’t have a gown to fit into.  I don’t have an upcoming fight to weigh in for. For me, this program was about getting a kick in the butt.  and that I DID GET!  It was tough, and at times slightly painful.  It made me challenge my body to work hard, and my brain to work even harder.  Most importantly, it helped me GAIN back self-control and healthy feelings toward food again.  I am so much more aware of what my body needs, instead of what it says it wants.

So now it’s back to normal life. But my normal has a new standard.  I can’t thank Simon enough for taking me on as his guinea pig.  He put a lot of work, and trial and error into his program.  He used himself as tester over and over…and if you’ve done the 6-day program…you will know that that, in itself deserves a reward.  He gave his own time to train with me, and reassured me numerous times “I was not dying!”

If you’re battling the food demons, and can’t seem to get it together, this may be the very 6-Day Program to set you on the right path.  For me, it was exactly that!  Drop Simon a line…he’s “mean” but super friendly!

Walk into any Globo-Gym (Goodlife, 24 Hr Fitness, Premier, Bally’s, etc) and you will NOT find personal trainers.

You will find a group of people, very happy and willing to take your money in exchange for fitness magazine workouts ($7.95 an issue), and working hard at ensuring you make only minor progress, enticing you to buy more sessions.

I know this, because I have been there. I was never able to rip people off like other trainers. I trained how I wanted to be trained. I treated each client as a friend. My goal was NOT to have the same client stick with me fore 10 years. My goal was to get them to their health and fitness goals in the fastest way possible, and in the process, teach them the proper know-how so that they may go out on their own and continue to make great success.

The main problem with most trainers is simple… They just don’t care. I’ve seen people buy 144 sessions a year, and look EXACTLY the same for the past 5 years!

Would you keep going to the same restaurant every week if every single time you ate there you experienced explosive diarrhea? I doubt it!

But wait, there’s more problems with these idiots! The next massive blunder is that there is NO form of regulation on personal training. There are no certifications required, or even the slightest bit of formal education. All that is needed is basic CPR and First Aid, something that even a receptionist at the gym requires…

I have worked at a gym that out of 13 trainers, 7 were certified through Canada’s most basic, useless training institution around, AND 4 had no certification whatsoever. You should see these certification programs anyway, I learnt absolutely NOTHING when I did mine, and this was way back before I even knew much about fitness!

PLEASE GOD, ASK FOR CREDENTIALS! ASK FOR EXPERIENCE! DEMAND A FREE SESSION! MEET YOUR “TRAINER”!

Would you let some random guy on the street stick his finger up your ass because he told you he’s an amazing proctologist? FUCK NO!

DO NOT SPEND A DIME WITHOUT FIRST LEARNING A TRAINERS FULL EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND AND EXPERIENCE!

There is WAY more to fitness than bodybuilding. For $70 a pop, you deserve more than the latest muscle magazine workout of the month.

Thank you,

Simon Marini

Diploma in Fitness and Nutrition

Crossfit Level One Instructor

Crossssfit Gymnastics Instructor

Crossfit Business – Biz Network

Movement Training Specialist

Core Conditioning Specialist

Functional Training Specialist

Professional MMA Fighter